you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
