Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We're too hungover to prance.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
