My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
