girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My ass is underappreciated
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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