i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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