I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
