when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i wish my penis had a tongue
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
