1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
