shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
