3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
