hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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