How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
