Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
