The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize