got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
