If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think i have herpe
just one?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize