I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it was like eating out sand paper
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
