just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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