we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
