I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
