hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize