absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
