all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
