remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
