so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize