Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
