he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
