We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
