Whod you bang
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize