Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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