Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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