Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
