we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
