It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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