i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
