the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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