So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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