Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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