New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
