Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Small penises have feelings too.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
