apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
