all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
