You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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