I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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