my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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