Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
