whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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