Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize