My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
