And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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