Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
