It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
