He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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