Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
