ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize