you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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