i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize