to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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