i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
