my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize