Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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