So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
