She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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