I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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