I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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