What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
