well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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