: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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