I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she smelled like a LAN party
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
