i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
