Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
