I hate your face
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
