Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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