Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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